I remember watching an episode of Rachel Zoe where she was debating getting pregnant. Blogs and tabloids rumored she didn't want to get pregnant because of fear of losing her "shape." I was stunned...shape??? That’s a whole other story chicas, as you can imagine. Regardless, true or not, I've always been floored at the notion of not wanting to get pregnant because that hard earned 4 or 6 pack would turn to a big pudgy bubble of love.
As I get older, still single and having recently lost some weight (initially by accident and now a concerted effort), I think I kind of understand wanting to keep my shape… I mean, if I had to cut out a lot of my go-to yumminess from my diet to shed 2” and flaunt my abs and toned legs, getting pregnant is not on my priority list right now… at least not on most days.
Though I’m old enough to be a mother, I’m conscious of all the responsibilities that are inherent in being one, too! For me, it has to be done right… you know, the perfect proposal, the fairytale wedding, at least 4 years of globetrotting with the hubs and then the big reveal of being preggers. I realized how important it is to do it right when my 17 year old niece got pregnant two years ago.
Talk about a shocker. I didn’t even know she was having sex. She was so coy and seemed so shy. But I guess it just takes that one moment of emotional vulnerability and it’s a wrap. Aside from that, my niece had the perfect little body that should have stayed fit and super sexy until she was married and ready for all that comes with being a mommy… A single madre at that.
I was so disappointed and then concerned for her. Did she not know about birth control? Or that it was readily available to her? Was she afraid to let us know she was sexually active for fear of retribution? With all the options out there to avoid pregnancy, we were all floored. Had her older sister (a 23 y/o virgin), my sister and I not set a good example? I know I had openly talked about being on birth control and which ones I liked best; how I wanted to enjoy my life as a single woman without such a huge responsibility, no matter how beautiful a child is.
Interestingly, when I was my niece’s age, the plethora of information and resources was just not out there. The Internet was not saturated with sites dishing out charts, schedules, tips, reminders, health centers, stories, and real options for prevention. My best friend was my resource. She seemed to know it all. She’s the one that broke down the ovulation process to me. If I thought I had run the risk of being pregnant (you guessed it, irresponsible practice), she’d be on speed dial with that anxious question: “Girl, do you think I could be pregnant?”
That’s changed. I’ve recently come across Bedsider.org, a sexy chic site offering all that information I wish my niece would have considered when deciding to have sex. I spent some time browsing the site and was impressed at the clean layout of different topics ranging from all those things that help us young (single) women navigate the options in birth control. Real gals share stories from their experiences using birth control, having healthy sex, and other topics stemming from being active. Vid pod casts are also great in demystifying untruths about contraception and pregnancy. Though a bit elementary, I liked best the pictorial chart of the different types of birth control with a roll over feature that briefly describes how each one works.
I’ll be coy and not disclose my preferred method of birth control, but having Bedsider as a tool is handy when I have questions. With an interactive site like that, there’s no reason why we should be left wondering about a missed period or even where to get free birth control! You’ll walk away knowing you can enjoy a healthy, sexy, intimate life once you have a place that answers all your questions and helps you make smart decisions.
You’ll be hooked and hopefully not be afraid to find out. It’s your life and body. Protect Yo' Self!
Feel free to visit them on Facebook and Twitter for updates, info and tips on the go!
Feel free to visit them on Facebook and Twitter for updates, info and tips on the go!
*I was selected by Latina Bloggers Connect to support in bringing awareness to this effort. All opinions and stories are my very own, always.
13 comments:
Awesome Bren! I did mine earlier this week!
There is another site that goes beyond birth control in a way that seems (to me) sensible for young adults: Scarleteen. A search is sufficient; I don't want to impose links on others. They also go into STDs, emergencies / breaking & failures, identity, and other topics. Possibly too many for some and too few for others, but it's another resource for those without other access to sound educational resources.
I like the information you provided. I agree with Jason, sensible.
Jes
Fabulous resource! Great post!
Great post! It´s unbelievable the amount of young girls -and not that young, to be honest- getting pregnant because they don´t know how to protect themselves. Thanks for sharing this important information.
Love what you did with this and how you added the fashionista in you (Rachel Zoe)! Bedsider is definitely an awesome site.
I always tell my kids and youth that I mentor that I prefer they not be sexually active. The information you have shared is a great resource for youth choosing to be sexually active. However, birth control is not 100%. So they are always taking the risk.
Eva, I'm with you 100%. My preference is to teach abstinence. I should have asserted that in the post... from personal experience, being sexually active in your teens and even early 20s is just not responsible. Yes, we all have our opinion and ultimately decide what we're going to do. At least there resources available to them if they decide to do that route.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, ladies. Feel free to forward along to young, single women you know are sexually active.
Very interesting topic B! And so brave of you to share such a personal experience with us. I really believe that it's important to safely assume that all young women are sexually active - simply because they all are vulnerable. The pressures on young girls & women to be sexual grow exponentially everyday. We just have to continue empowering our girls with knowledge no matter what choices they make.
great post Bren! I also advocate abstinence, but educating the youth in safety is always a great resource. thanks for sharing!!
Let's be real...kids are having sex. They just are! I'd rather them be informed, aware and protected than acting blindly. I say this as someone who has no children and doesn't have much of a desire for them at this moment. If I were a parent, I would NOT want to imagine my little babies being sexually active, but I'd have to be prepared to help them prepare. Better safe than sorry. Great resource.
I think I like you even more, Bren. What a smart woman you are.
I had my only daughter a a month before I turned 34. My husband and I had been together for 12 years then. Not a day in my life have I regretted waiting that long. She came at the right time, when we were both ready, and ready to settle down.
We latinas seem to have so much baggage, but I love your attitude, with education comes power. And I shudder to think what my life would be like now if I didn't have the information and resources I had at hand.
Thanks.
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